Depression

There is no word to describe it,
only thoughts and emotions.

It is a burning hole in your chest.
Everybody can add  a plaster
  or rip one away.
You never know which they choose
  until it is too late.

In a marathon you are behind,
  wading through mud
    with concrete shoes.
Nobody looks twice
  and you wander
    what is it that they see?

You stretch a hand out
  but it is only slapped away.
So you smile
  and say that everything is fine.
It's far from it.

Silent tears will stain your pillow.
How can you express your feelings?
How do you say you are mess up
  without saying,
    'I'm very very sad a lot of the time'?

It is the thoughts you lock away
  and throw away the key for
    that nobody can see but you.
And they mock and taunt,
  tell you that you're pathetic. Worthless.

How can it be expressed
  the pain of living everyday?
How can it be said
  that you'd rather cry
    than attend that party?
How can you put it
  that everyday is a struggle
    just to smile
      and to walk, one foot in front of the other,
       without taking two steps back?

And the First week is up

So yeah, that project I talked about, I've started it. The first installment is here: http://penguinsandninjas.wordpress.com/first-draft/week-1/

Remember, all comments are much appreciated and loved be them criticism or positivism. Just enjoy and next week the story shall continue on.

In the mean time, a thirty second poem on butterflies.

Butterfly

Neither a fly

or buttery

Yet it has wings 

and soars.

An array of colours

each one more unique

than the last.

Like humans

they have their own

language.

Like humans

they are

individuals.

Stripes or spots.

Faces or eyes.

Patterns or solids.

They wave their wings

to entice a smile,

to share some joy.

Update!

I know I originally said I was going to aim for 75,000 words this November, BUT I've taken it down to 70,000 because the last thing I need is a lot of stress. I am currently at 45, 287 words and there is still a hell of a lot to happen. I don't even know how my character's going to get out of her current situation yet, but, ya'know, I'll figure it out.

In the meantime, I hope you guys are doing well in terms of word counts. Feel free to let know and have a 30 second poem on Winter.

Winter

Cold nights

nip at your toes

and bites

at your ankles.

Wrap up warm

grab a hot drink

get underneath

that blanket and stay.

The leaves are gone

and the trees are bare.

But still they wave

as you walk on by.

Puddles grow

and begin to freeze

forced to change

with the weather.

Snow may fall

or it may not,

but the white flakes

sprinkle their dust everywhere.

A look of wonder 

fills the horizon.

It gets darker

so get in sooner

but do not reject

those clear cold nights.

Look up at the sky

and see the stars

and moon.

Bright and inviting

despite the cold.

Water

Water

A still reflection
of shining blue.
A gust of wind
and it shivers.

In a stream
it runs downhill,
jumping and hopping
over pebbles and rocks.

In a river
it runs a little faster
sweeping through the gaps
and twisting the corners.

On a beach it waves,
wafts white foam high
and collapses
when nobody waves back.

In an ocean
it is home
to the millions of life
we cannot see.

It simmers in the sun,
waits to be told
where to go
and where to stay.

With a twinkle of the eye
it rests
letting the night
take away its pain
until tomorrow.

Oops

Okay, so as you can probably tell I have neglected this little corner of the internet. And my NaNoWriMo story for the time being.

Yeah.

I feel bad, but it was my boyfriend's 21st and on the Friday we went to a pub, Saturday we ate dinner with friends, Sunday was me attempting an essay and Monday was us eating pizza and visiting my mum.

So it's halted a little.

But all is not lost.

Once this essay is finished I can burn through the next few thousand words. (She says) Also, within the past month I've submitted a poem and a short story to competitions. Now I'm waiting to be told I haven't won. Anyway, for now, enjoy a poem about.... *fumbles* *scratches head*

Autumn

Orange leaves fall

and scatter themselves

across pavements.

We trod

and kick

and scatter them more.

The wind grows cold

it nips and bites

closes us into

ourselves.

Wrap up tight.

Grab a scarf.

Without a coat

you'll suffer.

Gloves are handy.

The sun

sinks lower

with passing speed.

Quicker

the moon rises

and the dark descends.

On starry nights

we look up and point

at the white glow 

that paints the sky.

Illness

Illness

It may start with a cough

Or even with a wheeze

Maybe it's the rough

that twists your stomach with a squeeze.

Sudden or gradually

It'll come to us all

Nobody is immune completely

to everything. We all take a fall.

For some it's a simple remedy.

For others years of tests.

You may ask when are they ready

to give you a result, yet...

Never is it pleasant

or simple.

At the end a triumphant 

cheer. Or away they slip.

Sometimes it is the last straw

that drags a person away.

With a single final draw

of breath, they've crossed

the land of the dead.

Morning

Morning

A cusp of light

breaches the horizon.

Brightens the sky

and opens the day.

Sleepy eyes awake

and push out the dust

that the sandman 

sprinkled last night.

In a daze people walk

the sun still bright

blinding them

for a few moments

Until the day is opened

and the beauty revealed.

Letters

Letters

Put them together

and they make a word.

String a lot of them

and they make a sentence.

They hold meaning.

One letter

is the difference

between dead

and dread.

They make the language

create it 

invent it

and shape it.

Let them stand like soldiers

or let them slouch

like drunkards on a

Saturday night.

Small or big.

Squished or spaced.

Tall or short.

Clumped or separate.

Letters

make the foundation

of any word

of any sentence

of any story.

Unaware

Unaware

Behind the lies

You carry on

Unaware of the destruction

That follows.

Behind the manipulation

You carry on

Unaware of the trust

You are breaking.

Behind the cheating

You carry on

Unaware of the pain

You scatter

Like confetti at a wedding.

When a line is drawn

You cross it

And ask

"Why do you turn away?"

Is it any wonder?

Is it a mystery?

To anyone else, no

To you an enigma.

Evening

Evening

With a glass of wine

Or a bottle of beer.

Alone

Or with friends.

You spend it.

Watching TV

Down the pub

Reading a book

Or playing videos games.

You spend it.

Online

or off.

In the bedroom

Or the kitchen.

You spend it.

It is dark

with the cusp of light.

It shimmers with silver

And winks with a shiver.

Blue

Or black

It is there.

Evening.

Love

Love

It is warm 

and secure.

It is joy

and happiness.

It is a smile

and a laugh.

It is a bird that

will not stop flying.

It is an ocean

that will not stop waving.

It is a sun that

will not stop shining.

It is a star that

never stops twinkling.

It is everything

and anything.

It is hard to put into words

yet it is easy to do.

We know what it is.

We just can't say it.

Family

Family

They support you

Tell you the truth

Let you know

When you're wrong.

They may not

Always appear kind

But with good intentions

They mean well.

They put on face

And make nice

To make you feel good

About just one choice.

No matter what

Through good or bad

They've got your back

Unless you cross the line

Too far.

There til the end

They suffer just like you

Together.

Birds

Birds

High they fly

Free to roam

Up in the sky

With wings of chrome.

Across sea tops

The spray of foam

Across their beaks

Travel far

With no boundaries.

Wings

Feathers

Beaks

They fly

With no limit

No restriction

Wandering forever

Until they fancy

A place to sit.

War

War

When we think of war

We think of guns

Soldiers killing

People screaming.

When we think of war

We think of missiles

Large bombs that take

the lives of many at once.

When we think of war

We think of the Men and Women

With families waiting

for them to come home safely.

When we think of war

We think of the injured

Amputees

And PTSD.

When we think of war

We forget the children

In the middle

Running and hiding.

When we think of war

We forget the tears

that they shed.

Not us.

When we think of war

We forget there's two sides.

Forget the country

we're helping to destroy.

When we think of war

we forget the many lives

that don't have names.

The helpless.

The forgotten.

Beauty

Beauty

Beauty is a budding rose

Every sunrise and sunset

A smile on a child's face

Undeniable love for another

The warmth that fills 

You up with just one look.

Beauty is a rainbow

Emblazoning the sky

A tranquil forest that

Utters nothing or just whispers

The feeling of belonging

Yet of being a stranger.

Beauty is a sparkling lake

Everlasting and forever

An innocent face

Untraceable kindness

True love and

Yearning to forever hold.

Peace

Peace

Quiet
Serene
Calm
Peace

Truce
Friends
Pacts
Peace

Two fingers
A smile
A friendly gesture
Peace

An end to pain
An end to suffering
An end to war
Peace

Secrets

Secrets

Hush

Don't speak

Don't think

Just listen

close your mouth

do not tell.

I have a secret.

Little words

Big emotions

Held on close

Never to let go

Sharing

is one big step

To letting go

Hush

Finger to your lips

Mouth zipped closed

Forget the world

And keep this close

I

have a secret.

Time

Time

Tick tock

goes the clock

Forward

Back

Forever counting

Second

after second

Minute

after minute

Hour

after hour

Falling

grains of sand

count down

But to what?

Love

Life

Growth

End of a test

Death

Tock

Tick

Home

It's been a couple of days since I've done a 30 second poem, but, here I am with another. Enjoy.

Home

Warm to the heart

and a comforting cell

It cradles me

whilst I sleep

Holds me

when the day is grey

So much to do

in such a little space

Every rearrangement

a rejuvenating look

These four walls stand strong

even when I am weak

Forever there

when you are not.

Creation

Creation

From dust

From ash

From nothing but air

A new form rises

takes a breath

and opens its eyes

It lives

Talks

Walks

Explores

Hands begin to feel

Nose begins to smell

Everything is new once more

A mystery

To discover